Although I sometimes feel a bit irritated with the protagonist Onodera Ritsu’s insistence that he has no feelings for Takano Masamune, but then that is just my impatience talking. I guess you cannot hurry love after all.

I also feel that the side characters’ stories also help with me not feeling bored with the manga, their stories are also cute! Although sometimes I kind of want to find out more about Ritsu and Takano before the mangaka finds it necessary to switch to another character’s storyline. But I guess that’s the way to make us hunger for more. Wise mangaka!

I know I’m pretty late with this, but I just finished watching episode 5 of the anime. So many “kyaa!” moments, it’s a good thing I’m alone in my room right now. I’m currently wasted due to severe heart palpitations!

I find it a little hard watching at first, because the colors of the anime was so light I sometimes find it hard distinguishing features. I don’t know if it’s because of my computer’s setting, whatever, I got used to it so it’s ok.

I am soo in love with Takano Masamune right about now!

To read manga, of course! And it’s very convenient for me. I could read while lying on my bed, sitting at Starbucks or Seattle’s Best, basically everywhere I go I bring it along with me!

Well, anyway, christmas had come and gone. This year I don’t think I enjoyed it very much.    I wasn’t the one who decorated the house, I ended up delegating my gift shopping. I think I was in “hibernation”, and woke up just in time to see christmas come to an end. I hope next year would be better. In the meantime, there’s the celebration for the new year to look forward to.

I wasn’t able to complete Simbang Gabi. Part of me is pretty disappointed about it because then I will not be able to make a wish. Pretty stupid and selfish of me to attend mass for that reason, I know. But I tried it once and by some coincidence my wish came true. And I was hoping to make another one this year. Well, I guess it was not meant to be.

I’ve decided that instead of making a wish and hoping it will come true, I WILL MAKE IT COME TRUE FOR ME. I thought about it, and really, my wish is attainable, if only I have the fortitude to see it through to the end.

Now my goal is clear for the new year. I am hoping that through hard work and perseverance, I will get my reward.

Good luck, me…

Now here’s the weird part. Yesterday at another mall, I saw two guys who are obviously a couple (holding hands) and I was absolutely thrilled about it! Darn it! That’s not how I usually react to a gay couple. But there’s no question about it! It happened twice, with different couples but definitely having the same reaction from me! It was a definite “kyaa!” moment for me there.

That, I attributed to the fact that I’m reading a lot of yaoi manga at the moment.

Sigh… I realized a very serious fact about me. I’m so easily influenced by what I read that I have to be careful about what I read!

But, I’m still going to read yaoi manga. There’s no law that says I can’t be happy seeing gay couples, right?

Hahaha! I’m really weird! It will take a lot of guts for some guy to like me this way! =)

Also started buying yaoi manga online. I’ll receive it next year, by January. But I also bought 3 manga from Fully Booked at the Promenade in Greenhills, only it’s so expensive (P799 per book) that I’m thinking of buying online next time, or just download it for free at Manga Traders.

Either way, I wanted my own copy. At least, those that I like to read again. Maybe because I’m so used to having a personal copy of the books I like that I’m not satisfied with just reading them online. Unfortunately, the manga that I like to have a copy of are not yet licensed (Fujisaki Kou, help!), so in the meantime I’ll have to make do with reading them online. Sniff… Sniff…

I was also excited to see that the manga I was currently reading, Sekaiichi Hatsukoi, was made into an anime. I was not in an anime mood lately so I’m way behind on any news about anime. So I’m pleasantly surprise to see this one and will watch it later to compare.

Anyway, all this and still no one to talk to about this stuff. It really is fun when you have someone to talk to about a new hobby you started. Sigh, I’m feeling lonely at this very moment.

My first ever manga (yay!):

I am soo not looking forward to telling my doc why I was worse than the last time when I had my check up, when he lectured me on what to eat and on what to do to get healthy. Definitely not looking forward to admitting that everything he said was followed only a couple of weeks!

That is why I’m really fired up to get well this time. I definitely don’t want to show my face in his office again. Not that he’s a bad doctor, far from it. He’s great, gives you a lot of confidence in his abilities and knows how to talk to his patients without sounding condescending. Just don’t want to see him, because it means I suck at following simple orders. Period.

My sister told me that she could never even think of reading a yaoi manga. Ever.

My brother’s reaction… Yuck! Ugh! Hwack!

These are the people I know IRL who reads manga. Who the heck can I talk to when I want to talk about yaoi? Especially when I just find out that one of the yaoi manga that I’m currently enjoying reading is in fact also an anime (Sekaiichi Hatsukoi)?

So here I am, feeling thrilled and grinning to myself, while waiting for the movie to download.

It’s such a shame that I can’t share the love… what a waste…

This all started because I wasn’t feeling good last week and had high blood pressure so I’d decided to have a blood test. The result wasn’t good (gulp!). Years of eating fast food junk and desserts in every meal have given me not only a high blood sugar count but also high triglyceride, etc. etc.

Ugh. A rude wake up call for me.

So here I am, pretending that I’m currently enjoying my new diet, while feeling quite cranky inside. Okay, okay, it’s not as grim as that! Surprisingly, I’m bearing up well considering that I quit cold turkey with eating my carbs and sweets. Um, but it really doesn’t mean that I’ll never eat them again. That will lead me straight to bingeing.

But this past 5 days (an eternity for me), I felt good that I was able to even do it in 5 days. And it made me think that if I could have a strict diet for 5 days, perhaps I could maintain a more-relax-but-still-a-diet in the future. The key really here is to stop myself from giving up altogether if I slip on my diet. And I will slip, I know myself only too well. I guess the way to do it is give myself a day off, then get back in the program.

Wish me luck!

I guess one of the things I like about it is because I like seeing the usually macho man be vulnerable once in a while. Sometimes the manga deals with one stronger man and the other usually looks effeminate enough to look like a girl. I like those to. But sometimes I also like two strong guys that you can’t usually determine which is the dominant of the two. Sigh. But I don’t like hairy guys. Period. Takes away the romance somehow. Haha!

Some stories have so many men attracted to guys, I started wondering if even straight men can be attracted to guys? Probably. They just don’t want to broadcast it, I guess, in case it detracts from their manliness. Hmm, does it mean being bi-sexual really gives you more freedom to look?

Hum, I started talking about yaoi manga and ended up talking about sexual orientations. Back to the manga. Anyway, it’s really hard to read yaoi manga, because I can’t read it openly here. Have to read it when there’s no one in my room, which is pretty much a very, very rare event! Sigh.

I usually like the school setting background, high school or university. Not because I’m perverted that way, but because there is really something romantic about innocent love. Yes, even between two men, it can still be considered innocent, because they are just starting out feeling things they’ve never felt before.

Anyway, I’m pretty open-minded in person, so I guess that’s why I don’t see anything wrong with the stories.

I had thought that if I could not be the perfect career woman, I thought I would be the perfect wife and mother to my husband and kids. Alas! I have no boyfriend and had given up having a husband after seeing what marriage could do to normal people. I thought of having a kid or two – through a medical procedure or adoption or immaculate conception – but now I’m feeling hesitant about that as well. I don’t want any kid – mine or others – be traumatized by their upbringing. I’d rather remain childless forever. I have this sort of ideal mother, who is endlessly patient and good with kids, knows how to cook, that kind of stuff. As of now, I’m really none of those things, and would really prefer to be alone.

And this behavior bothers me. Because my inclination to be alone now might make me really alone in my future. I feel that I should be looking for someone and starting something that my friends had already started. But, at the same time, I also feel that I shouldn’t follow what other people are doing because that is expected of me. That I should be traveling a different road, somewhere where I could be comfortable.

But this makes me so afraid. What if the road I choose will take me so far away from them? At the end of that road, will I find only regret and loneliness? I have only one chance at life, I just wish someone could have given me a clue on how to reach the good ending.

I still cannot see my future, whether I will be alone or with someone, but whatever the case may be, I hope that it wouldn’t be lonely.

Now, I’m worrying too much that I have work piling up on me, but it’s not enough to motivate me to move!

I’m still procrastinating, that I think I will reach my dotage and I will still be procrastinating! I’m such a useless person right now…

Sigh, to make up for it, I promise to finish all my work this week… starting tomorrow… sigh… yeah, starting tomorrow…